A bizarre night

It just goes to show that when you think you are making real progress, you can get taken down every now and then. I've had a good few weeks of much better sleep & despite still suffering with VERY strange dreams (part anxiety, part medication I think!) I've been having a better quality of sleep. Last night I suddenly woke up at 3am, I felt confused and disorientated, I must have been having a bad dream but I can't remember the content. I got very tearful and felt really frightened, I asked Ash if he would mind sleeping with the bedside light on as I just thought I could hear someone outside and a light always seems to help me in these situations, of course there was no-one there but I felt really freaked out.

I calmed myself down with some breathing techniques and warm milk which is always good for these situations and I did eventually doze back off. When I thought about it this morning I had an unusually busy day yesterday, I have been avoiding busy situations through fear of having a panic attack but I promised John I would try and get myself into some more crowded places and it just so happened that we needed to go and get a bookcase from Ikea (Ikea on a Saturday, hello?!). I did it and I was very pleased but it really did push all my buttons and although I didn't have a panic attack, my adrenal glands must have been working overtime. I was very aware of everyone and everything and very hot/sweaty. I generally felt extremely uncomfortable. I had foolishly not eaten or drunk much all day and when we got in the car to come home I had a bit of a funny turn. On reflection I think this could have contributed to my bad night, I think that all the nerves in my body had been stimulated to the max and as always there were lessons to be learned. I think I was just so relieved to get through the experience (although Ash had lured me with a decaf Starbucks as a reward!).

Hopefully today's nice quiet day with an early night tonight will see me back on the right track and hey, I combatted Ikea on a Saturday so at least something positive came out of it! John will be pleased when I see him on Thursday and hey, a bad night or two in the scheme of things? No biggie. They are getting fewer and farther in between and that's good enough for me!